Coping Skills

What are coping skills?

Coping skills are meant to be used during or after experiencing difficult thoughts, emotions, or situations. They aren't meant to be used for ignoring your feelings or pretending everything is okay. Instead, they help you get through challenging moments with greater confidence and self-compassion, and give you the space to choose how you want to respond.

Coping skills can look different for everyone. What helps one person may not help another, and even your favorite coping skill may not work every time. Having more tools in your toolbox gives you a greater chance of feeling prepared during hard times.

Gentle reminder

There is no perfect coping skill. Different tools help on different days. If one doesn't work, try another. Small, regular acts of care add up, and you don't have to earn caring for yourself.

Calming

For when you are noticing racing thoughts, too intense of emotions, or stressful life circumstances.

  • Take 10 slow breaths.
  • Wrap yourself in a blanket.
  • Sip a warm drink.
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  • Listen to calming music.
  • Color or doodle.
  • Watch fish, birds, or clouds.
  • Make a cup of tea mindfully.
  • Sit outside.
  • Pet an animal.

Calming

Choose for Me

Notice what was helpful.

Notice whether your breath, body, or thoughts feel even a little more settled.

Distraction

For when emotions feel too intense to process, or when calming skills haven’t helped.

  • Do a word search or Sudoku.
  • Count backward from 100 by threes.
  • Watch a funny video.
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  • Organize one drawer.
  • Read one chapter of a book.
  • Do a puzzle.
  • Fold laundry mindfully.
  • Learn one interesting fact about a topic you enjoy.
  • Pick a random place on a map and plan a hypothetical trip.

Distraction

Choose for Me

Notice what was helpful.

Notice whether giving your mind something else to focus on helped lower the intensity.

Comfort

For when you’re hurting and need kindness.

  • Wrap up in a soft blanket.
  • Hold a stuffed animal or comforting object.
  • Light a favorite candle, if safe to do so.
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  • Look through happy photos.
  • Make your favorite warm drink.
  • Write yourself a compassionate note.
  • Listen to a comforting playlist.
  • Spend time with a pet.
  • Place your hand on your heart.

Comfort

Choose for Me

Notice what was helpful.

Notice whether this brought even a small sense of warmth, softness, or kindness toward yourself.

Releasing Energy

For when your body feels restless, angry, or activated.

  • Dance to one song.
  • Go for a brisk walk.
  • Stretch for five minutes.
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  • Do wall push-ups.
  • Take a cold shower.
  • Shake out your hands and legs.
  • Toss a ball between your hands.
  • Do jumping jacks.
  • Look up a workout video on YouTube.

Releasing Energy

Choose for Me

Notice what was helpful.

Notice whether your body feels a little less restless, tense, or activated after moving some energy.

Reach for Connection

For when you’re feeling lonely, or could use some support.

  • Text someone you trust.
  • Sit with a loved one.
  • Visit a coffee shop or library.
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  • Pet an animal.
  • Attend a support group.
  • Wave or smile at someone.
  • Write a letter, even if you don't send it.
  • Spend time in a shared public space.

Reach for Connection

Choose for Me

Notice what was helpful.

Notice whether reaching outward helped you feel a little less alone.

Learn More About Coping Skills

Coping skills are strategies that help you manage difficult thoughts, emotions, and situations. They don't make painful experiences disappear, but they can help you get through them more effectively while reducing the likelihood of reacting in ways that don't align with your values.

Different coping skills serve different purposes. Sometimes your nervous system needs to calm down, other times you may need a healthy distraction, comfort, movement, or connection with others. Building a variety of coping skills allows you to choose the tool that best fits what you need in the moment.

Like any new skill, coping strategies become more effective with practice. You don't have to wait until you're overwhelmed to use them. Practicing during calmer moments helps your brain and body become more familiar with these skills, making them easier to access during times of stress.

Resources

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT teaches practical coping skills for managing emotions, tolerating distress, building healthy relationships, and practicing mindfulness.
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT focuses on accepting difficult thoughts and emotions while choosing actions that align with your values.
  • Polyvagal Theory: Learning about your nervous system can help explain why different coping skills work at different times and why your body responds the way it does during stress.
  • Grounding and Mindfulness: These approaches help bring your attention back to the present moment when anxiety, trauma, or overwhelming emotions pull you away from it.

Remember that you don't have to use coping skills perfectly. Even if a skill only helps by 5–10%, that small shift still matters. Over time, those small shifts can build resilience and make difficult moments feel more manageable.